I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
