ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
