I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize