We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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