my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
