You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
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Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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