I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
