I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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