I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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