You just made me feel so damn special
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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