your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
