I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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