Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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