That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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