Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
