Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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