If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I love having hate sex.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
