i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
