would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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