There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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