Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
