Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
