He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
