he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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