found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
