i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
