So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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