Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You ate ashes out of my bong
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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