I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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