If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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