If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
