So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
