Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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