I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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