The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
