Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
