after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
