her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
wow bdsm is so cute
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