I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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