I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
