I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
