come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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