I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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