Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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