He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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