I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
