After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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