Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize