Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
