do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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