I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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