Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
