yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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