They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
