She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
