she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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