I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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