I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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