hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
