i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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