A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Alive.
So much puke
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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